Square Dating (The downfall of gentlemen)

Sweden, amongst all countries have come closest to the goals of gender equality. Men and women ..or.. Women and men of this country are given as equal of rights as humanity can offer.

From job/educational opportunities to parental/financial responsibilities, Sweden has potentially found a way to make sure that all citizens, regardless of gender, can live with as much equality as any other person.

Don't get me wrong, gender equality is most definitely an issue that is unarguably righteous and fair to the women (and in occasion, men). BUT (uh oh), we can't deny the facts that nature has given men and women certain differences that make them vary in behavior and lifestyle.

The only 'side-effect' of Sweden's solutions to gender inequality is the loss of the fruits of romance. Sometimes, too much of a good thing can be bad. Let me explain...

Take two young adults going out on their very first date for example. They go to a diner and spend the night intimately engulfed with one another's company, the ever so sweet purity of two fragile hearts taking risks for the first time dangles throughout the surroundings and once again shows the world the magical implementations of romance. (Take that Shakespeare!)

By the end of the night, both are full, in stomachs and in happiness (I really need to stop).

Let's not forget that we're not in the movies here, after dinner the couple flags the waiter for the bill, and it is at this point where gender equality (I think) takes its toll upon.
He pays ONLY for the food that he ate and she pays for hers, separately!

The same logic applies to all other activities (cinema, concerts, . . . etc)
Even within the dating game, gender equality prevails.

Although this practice is politically correct, it still, in a way, rules out the lovelaws of our ancestors and of our species.

What ever happened the sounds of serenades, the suspense of courtship and the sincerity of generosity? All these very valid humane characteristics have to be set aside just because of theoretical and logical necessities.

A man paying for a woman's dinner does not show dominance or control (as some would argue), it is a mere display of respect and interest. "It takes 2 to tango", if we look more closely into this idiom, technically, tango requires two people who synchronize in dance steps, if one's right foot is forward shall the other one's left foot be placed backwards. Everything has a balance and harmony. In science, it takes a + and a - to form a bond, two pieces of a puzzle.

At this stage of this article, you would've figured out what is meant by "Square Dating"

Although I strongly fight for gender equality, I still deem it necessary to know where to draw the line, my line is drawn in human rights (health, career and other earthly manners).

I'm not trying to be melodramatic here but I still believe in the wonderful balance of genders and that the basics of romance should be left alone as a tribute to what we are. Political and gender issues should not affect relationships that are formed by mutuality.

To make things a little less WTFish...

Positives and Negatives of "Square Dating" (with additional 'gender perspectives' addon)

For men towards women:
+They don't feel obliged to pay
+They learn to respect the independence of women
-The downfall of gentlemen
-May imply that they are not significant and needed in the relationship.
-Might take women for granted.
-Eradicates the intention of courtship
-Makes men ignorant to the value of a relationship (No pain no gain rule).

For women towards men:
+They feel more confident and secure with risks in the relationship
+They will never have to feel manipulated and controlled by men.
+The feeling of triumph over history and nature.
+They'd feel that they owe nobody nuthin' (double negative baby!)
-They'll feel more needed but may not see the value of men in the relationship.
-Missing out on the flattering effects of courtship.
-Will never feel how Juliet felt like as told by W.Shake

For both genders:
+Both will respect each other's independence and capabilities.
+Both will feel morally correct and secure.
-Both will never experience the dance of romance. (this does not mean s*x)
-The relationship may have a weaker foundation.
-May lead to shorter lived relationships.
-Both will not see each other as significant.

A relationship is the formation of two incomplete participants and their vulnerability plays a big role in the strengthening of the relationship(2 become 1, liksom), if everyone applies gender equality to romance, then there can never be a wholesome harmony.

As a conclusion to this very long post, Sweden may have taken gender equality to a higher level than most countries, but they took it far to an extent in which marriage is rubbish and love has a life gauge.

In the long run, a stable complete family is something that only exist in the dreams of our future generation.

Pepparkaka Confusion! Rated-X

So, 3 weeks ago, As I was normally rotting in my hellhole (room) like a carcass in the Sahara desert, my phone unexpectedly started ringing. Thinking that I was popular, I dashed as fast as I can to my phone, leaving my half-eaten sandwich floating around in midair until it landed on what used to be my pillow. (R.I.P.)

I answered the phone with an enthusiastic "hello", just to find out that it was my mom calling.

Losing all hopes of popularity I drifted back to my deathbed, and as I was just about to hang up, dear old mother asks "I'm at the supermarket right now, do you want me to get anything?"

Reminding myself of the usual Swedish holiday treats, I asked for something that is obviously a must for Christmas.... Pepparkakor!!


Little did I know that my mother's sense of comprehension over the phone is as dead as Heath Ledger, so I continued with my request "Hrrrm, yes mom, can you get some pepparkakor?"

It was then I noticed the confusion in her tone "Some what?" she replied.


"Some pepparkakor, pepparkakor"


"Say that again dear, speak up so I can hear better"


"Some PEPPARKAKOR!!! PePPaRRkaKKooooR!!!"



What happens next was the cause of 20-minute painful muscular contractions due to laughter.

Mom: "Peppercocks? Should I get some PepperCOCKS!?"
Me: *starts humor-based seizures* "no.. ha haaaaaa... som.. hm.. some .. PeppArKakoooooR!"
Mom: "Ok, now I can see the peppercocks, should i take the small ones or the big ones?
Me: "Mom, stop saying peppercocks!!"
Mom: "Why? Is it racist? if it is, then it's yout fault, you made me say it"
Me: "No No, nevermind, just get the big ones and come back here, . . . get some spotted dicks too!" *hangs up*



The latter half of the conversation was spoken in Tagalog so translation's a bit off due to the fact that me and my mother are idiom abusers!



I just thought I'd share this very delightful mistake, and I most of all, Christmas is in 2 days!!




but.....














if anything....

just imagine......

Kid Paranoia; Too smart, too young

Once upon a boring day, I was on my way home after a day’s share of disappointments. At that point, the only thing that could save my deteriorating mood was something unusually unexpected to happen or an Emerald Tree Boa (I <3>

Something unexpected - happiness lies within it

Emerald Tree Boa, this would put a smile on my face

Of course, as assumed, if neither of the two happened, I wouldn’t be writing about this so yes, something unexpected did happen. My ears are awesome *shakes victory fist* and I was able to overhear a conversation by these two people on the train, a mother and her daughter. Without further ado, this is how the conversation went as I recall it.

Mother: Vad vill du saga? ( What do you want to say)

Daughter: Jag vill lära mig gitarr mamma!!! (I wanna learn how to play guitar mom)

Mother: Jaså, då ska vi se.. din farbror kan spela gitarr, kanske du kan fråga honom? (I see, hrrrm, your uncle can play the guitar, maybe you’d want to ask him?)

Daughter: Nej, han ser ut som pedofil! ( Nah, he looks like a pedophile)

… OK STOP HERE!!! … Reeeewind *zzzzzzt!* “han ser ut som pedofil”

I was mesmerized by what I just heard! I heard this behind me while I was sitting on the subway and I literally performed a 180 degree neck turn in ½ second, nearly breaking my neck while still holding a surprised mischievous smile on my face. (Because I'm weird like that)

At that point I realized, this effing made my day! Just what I needed! a dose of weirdness.
I was happy to hear that nowadays kids can very well take good care of themselves, I didn’t get why mom asked her to “hålla dig tyst” (shut up), I think she should be proud of her daughter, and understand that kids these days just keep getting smarter and smarter.

This is evident proof that children DO say the DARNEST things! 'asså' this simple conversation portrays alot about the Swedish culture.

I just simply ADORE the wit of most children here in Sweden, because of the healthy exposure to newspapers, good TV discipline and proper educational upbringing.

Salute to the seemingly slow education, in the end, it's worth it.

Conclusion, the 10-year old girl is built for awesome!

Public Privacy: Part 1 (Personal space)

Sometimes I wonder where the line is drawn between public and private, or whether the concept of privacy varies from country to country, or from individual to individual. Nonetheless, I continue to ponder on the matter. Just like Paris Hilton on a math problem, I can’t seem to get my mind around this riddle.

The possible reason why most Swedes opt to simply play deaf and blind is because of the concept of “respect for other people’s privacy”, let me s**t out a concrete…… example, (feel free to try this) a girl listening to her iPod in the bus on her way to school starts singing along with the songs she’s listening to, she just completely breaks out into a pop diva, closes her eyes, bobs her head and sings until her heart is content (or until someone confronts her) And then everyone around her Laserbeams her ONCE or twice(the brave do so) and then nothing…..

Another example, a man walks into a bar and orders milk, everyone think of him psycho but ignores him anyways…

....you buy McDonalds and go over to Friday’s to sit and eat it there, everyone thinks of you weird but ignores….

….you experience a nervous breakdown at the foot of the company building where you have your interview at and you start crying and freaking out in the main lobby, once again, people think of you weird but ignores…

A lot of W-T-F’s will be floating around but no one would say it out loud.

Anyone can here can rest assure that their personal chats and habits can be taken in public without the risk of confrontation by the society (unless you’re a Nazi). This is a type of Public Privacy, and it is the weakest one out there.
RESPECT HIS PRIVACY!!!!!
It's both a good thing and a bad thing, it can be good because it encourages deviant individuals to be able to express themselves comfortably and it shows the level of tolerance of the country, on the other hand, this attitude on the part of the 'deviants' may work well to their disadvantage, rendering them unconfronted of some things that are too morally fragile to be swung around in public.

Point being, people don’t usually “prata skit” about you, but it’s more like they “tänka skit” about you. Which one do you prefer? I’d rather be left alone to be me and not who they want me to be.

My Laserbeam! Pew Pew Pew

Did you have a laserbeam when you were born?... neither did I, until I came here in Sweden.

My laserbeam has no color, it is invisible yet deadly, it’s here and there at the same time, it can both attract and repel, but it has a limited range (In my case, REALLY limited), the best part is I have TWO of them.

As a follow up to the “Silence is Golden” post, this time around I’ll be ranting specifically about glancedodging.

Glancedodging in Sweden has evolved into an obligatory cultural sport, even bigger than football or innebandy. Whenever you’re in a public place (potentially even private), it is completely impolite to look into the eyes of another person whom you have no intention of talking to, correct me if I’m wrong, but for those of you who do experience this, think about those times you were sitting in the Tunnelbana (Subway) and a person sits right in front of you and you both look at different directions. Preferably: the window or the floor. Sometimes I feel like Cyclops.

Me, being a person whose idea of fun is making people uncomfortable do try and use my laserbeam to its maximum potential. In other words: I STARE AT PEOPLE IN PUBLIC FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER!!!

The reactions are too funny to describe, but here’s how it usually happens chronologically:

-*stares* victim looks away, displaying fluency in glancedodging.
-*stares more* victim looks back but quickly looks away again.
-*keeps staring* victim looks back, looks away, shuffles hands.
-*still staring* victim looks for nearest newspaper. (If newspaper found, game ends)

…but otherwise…

-*stares a bit more* victim pretends to be fiddling with iPod.
-*nerves appear on eye surface* victim takes phone out, and “SMSes”
-*1/4 of eyeballs exposed* victim looks on the ground.

….at this point, our victim is on the verge of either punching me in the face or going away…

-*LASERBEAM* victim melts!!!

Shyness is the most probable explanation for this behavior although it can easily be misperceived as snobbishness. Swedes tend to get shy when not intoxicated (sorry :P)

Won’t it be easier for the victim to stare back and smile instead? Would’ve made it so much easier to write about “Dear blog, I looked at this person, it looked back and smiled, the end”

”Silence is golden, or is it?”

It was exactly the morning of the 26th of October 2005, it was a Wednesday, and it was also my 3rd day in Sweden. There I was, off to tackle the horizons and look for a school in which I could pursue my studies in. Fundamentals came in first, I got train coupons and trotted along the empty tram platform in Årstaberg. I then resided in sitting inside the tram hoping to somehow chat with someone casually. The tram was jam packed with people who were off to their respective destinations for the day. It wasn’t even 5 minutes into the ride that I was struck with a sudden unfamiliarity. At first I couldn’t put my finger on the unseen disturbance until I finally realized that there was the absence of the usual sounds of rush hour. Everything was almost there, the tram motor wheezing, the sound of newspaper pages brushing against each other, but there was one missing humane element, voices, there were none.

There was no living soul in that train that was engaged in any form of conversation, everyone was either occupied with reading the newspaper or was simply staring at a particular point that dodges the glances of other people. I looked around a bit more and saw the same situation all over the tram, it surely was something that fascinated me in some sense. Eventually I learned to play along with the ‘trend’, I’ve mastered techniques of glancedodging and silence. Every now and then I see people who do exceed expectations and involve themselves in smalltalk, oftentimes, these people are immediately perceived ‘weird’ if not completely insane, the only time I hear proper ‘trainchats’ between strangers are during Friday and Saturday evenings, it’s either a drunk conversation or a hook-up. Nothing casual.

I personally think it wouldn’t hurt to greet a passing stranger or ask a random person about his/her day during a 20 minute train ride, who knows, you might just make someone’s day a little bit better.