Sexcalators

He's just exposing his girlfriend to rape

I have long accepted the fact that public display of affection is nothing new or abnormal in this country and furthermore have I most absolutely learned to avoid cringing when listening to the sound of tongues rubbing against each other giving out a medium-pitched squeak that can only be interpreted as kissing or a prairie dog defacating.

Maybe the overly passionate behaviour of the Svenish can explain the sky rocketing divorce rate in this country. Kissing and sex isn't as 'special' as it once deemed to be. And by all means, go ahead! Not only does it give the makeout an extra sensation by doing it in public, it also provides entertainment for the sexually deprived.

But like any other anything everywhere somehow, there is a LIMIT. Public makeouts are part of the daily scenarios one would see in a typical spring day in Stockholm, the Swedes are nature-oriented beings... with that being said, the rate of makeouts show a significant increase during the spring, just in coordination with mating season for the rabbits. You'll find them everywhere!! The park, the beach, the bushes, under the trees, by the lake and sometimes even by some garden...... and no I wasn't referring to rabbits.

And just for the record, Swedish rabbits are well known for having more horns than a trceratops convention. According to this other blog http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.sex-and-blogs.com/xxx/coniglio%255B1%255D.jpg&imgrefurl=http://sex-and-blogs.com/flavor/who_knows/index.php%3Fpage%3D15&usg=__q7BmUku8bimKBPwLeJUFu9nW7s0=&h=325&w=281&sz=16&hl=en&start=96&sig2=8rfkfjsIkq2Yc2UxbPu4PQ&um=1&tbnid=1LX1jzyxKFQ03M:&tbnh=118&tbnw=102&prev=/images%3Fq%3Drabbits%2Bmating%26ndsp%3D18%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26sa%3DN%26start%3D90%26um%3D1&ei=ngLQSb-YF4-E_Aa0iKWKCg

I know right? this male rabbit below is said to be the kinkiest furball ever in SWEDEN! Believed to have fathered 4,556 rabbits in ONE year... did i mention rabbits can only give birth to one baby at a time? (ok this part is a lie) ahah.. But 4,556 rabbits in one year is still a humongous account nevertheless, not to mention the "barnbidrag" he has to go through.

Eventually he died of birdflu....

I don't really have much complaints about seeing lovers 'love' in general, but the escalator is just taking it a step too far!!! An escalator is the LEAST romantic setting to play tongue tennis... For a number of many reasons can we conclude that escalators are meant for transportation not fornication.

It just appears so utterly irrelevant to swap humanslime in a moving stairway with other people being a breath away from you.... Nothing is held sacred in this city, these horndogs will find any excuse to publicly announce that they're aiming to conceive.... herpes....

How difficult is it to go through a 15 second ride without having to pornographize? I mean, there's a right place and a right time for that and I don't really concurr that during an escalator trip would be the brightest idea to count each other's teeth. Usually the couple occupies the entire escalator panel leaving no room for anyone to storm ahead of them therefore rendering bystanders with no other option than to simmer that humidity and friction created by the couple.

Understanding this kind of monstrosity reveals a slightly taller order than perceived. What seems to be simply a natural display of human outteraction may also be an attempt to materialize a hidden fetish, whatever it may be.... we need not be informed thank you. >_>

I don't see how these couples could possibly enjoy the sensation with a little boy and a toothless retiree curiously eyeballing them.

So the next time you feel the urge to slobber on your partner, please do take the time to punch yourself in the underworld before taking any uneccesarily annoying actions.

Free Hugs Campaign NOT NEEDED here... thank you and goodbye.

This, among all of the other posts would probably be the only optimistic one up to date.

During my initial months as a dweller in Köttbulland, I was still a naive, young, and (*this is my blog and I can say whatever I want*) sexy beast and had no idea about the do's and don'ts of the Svedeesh culture; nevertheless I moved on as it was my only choice even if I stood rotting in a corner of my hotel room. Eventually, I got myself into the school that defined who I am today (DAMN YOUUUUU!!!!!)
Anyway, I had a rough start in school cuz back then, my english had been stagnant for 5 years and there was no way to even think of beginning to speak... I didn't really get the overall picture of the surroundings, it was kind of walking into a giant abstract painting, not knowing what makes sense.

Skipping onto a few months after my first day at school, I was actually able to communicate in a really awkward and really rehearsed manner, anyone with an ounce of brain can tell that I wasn't being me and rather testing the waters so to say, but I somehow was never really attached to someone who could teach me the ways of the swedish society.

And one of the major culture shocks for me are the constant hugging. Regardless of gender, age or skin diseases, hugging is a normal way of greeting for most Swedish people, handshakes have hit rock bottom and is only used as a gesture with acquaintances (for the most part).

With that being said, a former classmate of mine whom we will hide under the name Yemmy Woo Berreira Tos Cantos who is as sweet as fried frog legs dipped in chocolate syrup had the really unfortunate coincidence of greeting me in the morning when I woke up at the wronf side of the bed (leaning towards an open electric fan) with a cheerful bouncy and unexpected HUG!!!
So there came the hug, the smile and the cheerful "Good Morning!"... without even thinking about it, my first reaction was to flee from cooties, I literally almost teleported away with the concrete culture shock, it wasn't until after a few seconds later that I realised that it wasn't meant to be anything weird... But it was too late, the damage is done, she was left there with empty rounded arms and a WTF-face to provide the icing on the awkward cake.

Back then I didn't really know that hugs were casual and practiced daily, I thought girls can get pregnant from hugs (Ok, this one is just a lie! *aherm* yeah). Point being, I was never really used to giving or receiving hugs from ANYONE apart from my dogs and my ex, always thought it was more than a friendly gesture. This tiny event broke the cultural ice for me, I was urged to rewrite my thoughts and moreover remove my mask and let everything in me hang out for everyone to see (except THAT).

I never really got to openly apologized to her but I gave her the best hugs I could in the coming years^^

Now I'm used to it:AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T REACH TO THIS!!!!!!!!O_O

There is no Swedish way of saying "Home Delivery"

As a person of ultimate laziness, I must say that home delivery is one of the best sytems ever to emerge on any civilisation. To be able to sit at home after a hard day's work and have food delivered to you at your doorstep is just something I think we all deserve every once in a while.

There are times of the year ( WINTER) that you may not want to bother taking 15 minutes to put on appropriate clothing just to go out of the house and get food, it's times like these where home delivery is a must. Unfortunately, Sweden doesn't offer this kind of luxury, you want food, you find food. Oftentimes starvation forces you to forage/hunt for food like those furry things in the discovery channel.

It's painstakingly bothersome to disrupt your nice evening by tackling the cold for survival, it's like the Soviet union all over again, except without the famine.

The closest you can get is called "avhämtning" aka "you order in advance by phone and we'll wait for you to pick it up". In humanistic countries, if the food isn't delivered at your doorstep within 30 minutes, you get it free! Here, if you don't pick it up before 30 minutes, not only will your food be cold, but you'll have to spend another 30 minutes going home which will make it colder... By the time you get home, you'll end up with just another regular T.V. dinner... So much for ordering at a resto.

..Did I mention that some places charge extra for avhämtning?.. yeah so, let's see the odds

Bad sides to it
1. waste money on phonecall
2. extra charge for the service
3. waste of time and money/gas to pick food up
4. food gets cold before you can even lick it.
5. Let alone food is overpriced as it is.

Good side (notice how I intentionally left out an "s" on the word side)
1. You get excercise


I'd rather go on a Lord of the Rings marathon to cover the hunger and lull myself to sleep until the next day.

And if I ever die doing that, blame the pizzerias. =(