Christmas compositions

The inevitable 'Christmas Rush' has officially showed signs of its presence. The people of Stockholm along with the rest of the western world have been on the run for the seasonal bargains, thinking of their families as they roam the city with a decreased pace. Working citizens are either motivated to squeeze out that extra productivity or are completely dazzled by the holiday ambiance, whoever they are and wherever they are, they all know that Christmas is just around the corner. And in tribute to that I've made spontaneous little pieces for you instead of greeting you the normal way.


-Winter Warmerland-

The year has finally come to en end
And winter teases the world below
Thinking she would her throne defend
Until we pump her with gas and go

Her silvery dominance, untouched in years
Will yield to cowfarts, burnt plastic and tires
Her icy smile will drown in warm tears
And thus will her empire expire

The land of the north where she is most known,
Denies the crude, and lonely fact...
That her blanket of snow and frosty cones
Would soon vanish if they don't act.

This Christmas they stand on thin ice sheets
That may no longer remain for years to come
And eventually what mankind will meet
Is a dark, warm Christmas morning hum.

-PMS (Presumably Mad Snowman) rant-

It's that time of the year again, hello there girls and boys! I assume you've been doing good so that fat man with a 'thing' for kids and reindeers will bring you stuff from his factory of child-like slaves dressed in tight revealing outfits.
...Me? I'm doing good I guess, I mean after all; I'm only here as proof and assurance that you'll have a White Christmas. In fact, I'll work all winter. You and your families will sit indoors and enjoy the holidays while I stand out there alone eating snowflakes. Do you know what eating snowflakes makes me? A CANNIBAL!

Now I'm beginning to understand the difference between God and man and why man will never be as efficient as its creator, it's because they fuck up on the simplest things. God made Eve when he realized Adam was alone, but no man has ever thought of making me someone I could relate with, let alone other 'aherm' stuff.

Oh don't feel pity for me now, damage has already been done! Go home to your warm and cuddly families and leave me be here on my own, after all, that's what you, my creators, want anyway right?

I keep telling myself that I'm used to this sort of inhumane treatment until I have to go through it all over again.. year after year. It pushed me to a point that I really wish global warming prevails so that I'll never have to come here and see your ungrateful faces!!!

But I'll leave you all with one thought, I may be as useless to you but never forget that when you designed me, you made me out of what you're not and what you don't have.
I may be half your size but I consist of THREE balls and I have a nose longer than your average dicks! Suck it earth-dweller, may you all die in hell!!!

White Lies from kind people (Doo pRatawr Jettebraw Svenskaah)

I've spent 4 years in this wonderful country, experienced its weather, its culture, met its people and even got educated here. But the one thing that I haven't truly gotten a grasp of is the language, yeah sure my Swedish is good enough to comprehend books and TV shows but it still doesn't meet the standards needed to live here for the next 20 years (work in progress..)

And throughout my entire linguistic journey, I've noticed a thing or two about how Swedes react to foreigners speaking their language badly. Whenever I speak Swedish or discuss about my Swedish in front of Swedes in Sweden, the reactions can go one of 2 ways...

First possibility: If you try to order food in Swedish or put your limited Swedish out for a spin for practice, people will then suddenly respond in English.

And in this scenario, 2 intentions may be put to play it's either:
1.The Swede is disgusted by your incompetence in his/her language OR
2. The Swede intends to let you know that he/she can in fact speak English! Ere'go there is no need for you to try and force yourself to find vocab when he/she can do it easier on a language you're more comfortable at.
Wasn't the point of you speaking Swedish in the first place is to get some practice?

Second scenario: If talking to a Swede about your Swedish, they will compliment you and tell you how fluent you are in Swedish even though you know just as well that you sound like a moose being slaughtered by 7 lumberjacks with silver chainsaws.

These 2 reactions are the most common ones.

Swedes will never say how much you suck at their language or how much work you need, they'll in fact compliment you by giving you a thumbs up..

Now tell me, are these white lies even worth telling when the person whom you're telling the lies to know that the compliments are utter bullpoop? In my experience, I take it more of a slap when a Swede tells me that my Swedish is perfect or is brilliant.
I wasn't born yesterday, I KNOW my Swedish is far from fluent and I'm not dumb enough to believe otherwise.

Därför skriver jag min blogg på engelska och undvika prata svenska när det gäller formella saker. =D

Peace out and piss off!