A dead crowd is a good crowd

Around a couple of weeks ago (28th of January), OASIS did a concert in Globen and tore the stage apart with their heart warming songs, soft melodic music, meaningful lyrics and potty mouths. It was, suffice to say, A-m-a-z-i-n-g!

In the middle of the concert, as they were performing their famous song "Slide Away", my attention drifted away to the audience. I had no expectations really, but I did assume a somehow fluid crowd, a bit of a silent riot, or the usual "I love you OASIS" signs.

Sadly enough, when you look at it from a distant angle, all you'll see is a bunch of guys playing music in front of what seems to be the league of the living dead!!!!

Compared to the crowd in the conert, these guys are actually quite enthusiastic!!

I've been to a number of concerts here in Stockholm, and I have to say, not even a rock band as loud as Linkin' Park could drive a crowd into wild, screaming, mindless, groupies. But at the same time, they're not completely petrified either, somewhere in between (lagom). It seems as if Swedes have been culturally modified to hold in their excitement until after the performance. (who knows to what other activities this rule applies to..)

Whether it be concert or simply a motivational talk, you'll find that Swedish audience will give all 5 senses to you, which is actually a very courteous gesture as of intention but may appear to be an insult when a public performer/speaker expects a bit more reaction.

I guess for Swedes, it is a bit disrespectful to interrupt, but on the other hand, interruptions and hecklers are proof that someone's listening to you genuinely.

Despite the common misconceptions of Swedish audiences, I guess it's better than going to a concert and only being able to hear the crowd shouting instead of the singer him/her self.

There really is no set conclusion for this entry, i wasn't trying to deliver a message, just some brainfarts that I get oftentimes. =)

Public Privacy 2 "Shhh! you're on the phone"

Of all the things that are socially awkward in Sweden, this has got to be one of the most illogical one. Not because I simply don't approve of the idea bis but more because of the ironic nature of the behaviour.

First and foremost, I think some people here forget the layman's defintion of a cellphone and its purpose of existence in this technologically abusive world. Once again, my statements may sound exaggerated but nevertheless...

It seems like everytime I pick up my phone (Specially in public transportation), I immediately become the momentary asshole... Just in general, people here don't talk aloud given any circumstances, it's almost as if they're genetically designed to have a low tolerance for ¨loud¨ noises... whether it be on the train, a bus, in a restaurant, even in concerts..

In terms of public privacy, I guess this example is a bit of an opposite, it's proper to respect the privacy of everyone around you by trying to keep as much of the phonecall informationt to yourself. Personally, I'm immune to this trait despite of my attempt to completely blend into the society, whenever I'm on the phone, I'll speak to the person just as if he/she was in front of me... I mean, that's why phones were made in the first place right Mr. Graham Bell?

Ok, they don't bash you for talking on the phone openly, but it just feels that a cloud of demeaning aura is enveloping every living cell in your poor defenseless body. Swedes have a telepathic knife that can go right through all your moral barriers and pierce you right on the uncomfortable side of your sould. haha..

I often feel ashamed whenever my phone rings but at the same time feels nice to be a silence-breaker once in a while.. =)

"I buy you drink, You be my girlfriend"

The title in itself is very self-explanatory, however, that wouldn't satisfy my cravings to write nor will it provide any form of leisure to my non-existent readers.

I'll do my best to not talk too authoritatively about this issue because I am only a part-time flirt and would best be with usual friends when out for a drink. But since I'm the king of this page and there's barely anyone to thwat me with the hand of judgement, I'll go right ahead and splurt out as much confident words are possible.

So it begins... You're a foreigner and is out one night, with a bunch of losers whom you call your friends and you all go to where the happy-hap's at! The night is young, the streets are busy, the usual Friday night. And halfway through the night, when you're under the power of the alcohol Gods, you start feeling a bit more loose, in both speech and wallet. That's when you'd start feeling a bit generous, as in, you'd want to buy someone(s) a round, or ask a friend to take a shot with you...

So you incidentally randomly pick a girl friend, you go the counter, get two drinks, and go back to the table and hand it to her. Then all of a sudden, the situation turns awkward, she'll most likely stare at you with a "what-do-you-want-from-me" look. That's when you realize that girls here in Stockholm don't like the idea of anyone buying them a drink under any circumstances apart from flirting.

As an emphasis to 'Square Dating' I'll have to mention the fact that a drink here is so costy that giving it away is basically asking someone out.



Wonder what this means..

I'm not too keen on the concept I must rather say, sometimes, when your generosity gets turned down, it tends to disrupt your piece of mind. :D

And of course, it's a mirror effect. If you accept a drink from any person apart from your really close buddies, it means you're indirectly saying "yes" to a "can we hit it off?" question. I learned this the HARD way when I accepted a drink (while drunk myself) from a random DUDE on a cruise ship disco place. I apologized and explained that I'm straight and terminally ill and is in no shape whatsoever to physically connect with anyone because that would lead to serious respiratory consequences. (Yeah I tend to become a bit more unrealistic when drunk)

These minute cultural differences are things that are most memorable to me, therefore, it is just righteous that I try and compile them in this blog to look back to when I get Alzheimer's.

I'm losing my formality so I'd like to thank you all for reading this up to now, and promise that this blog will only get better with time.

Outran by a Gran

feels wrong doesn't it?

There are times that one feels insecure, times when you just feel the need to fold all the way back to the womb, and for most people, insecurity is natural and is usually explainable.
Unfortunately, the insecurity that this entry will talk about are those that truly manage to eliminate all traces of pride and masculinity in me.

I've seen amazing people in this world, those regular citizens/superheroes types, every culture that I have had the honor to live in have bolted a permanent impact on me. Sweden definitely caused my eyeballs to temporarily jump out of their sockets, and this is due to the remarkably strong physical conditions of the elderly here in Sweden.
The beloved crooked ones here are just as physically competetive as they were during ancient times (yeah 20 years ago counts as ancient).

As a young, 'healthy'/alive(same s*it) man, I refused to accept that an 85-yr old, pacemaker-dependent woman can cover more distance than me and do it faster. Thus comes the true story of me being "Outran by a Gran".
I'm afraid McDonalds is taking a toll on me, on us, the youth. =(

So to comfort myself from this traumatizing realization, I just make up a false fact and believe that all people who were born before 1950 contain the thousands of souls that died during those times and that these souls unite with the souls of the living and therefore providing superhuman abilities to today's elderlies.
But reality holds none of these "facts", the seniors of Sweden are pampered to full potential health and have learned to keep their vibrance throughout the centuries/decades(same s*it).

But most of all, I've learned to pay more respect to the soon-to-be-fertilizers of this world. Now I understand that the age-package doesn't always come with an inevitable slowdeath-BONUS and that we can choose to keep our bones and muscles lubricated and functionable even as old farts.

Now that I come and think about it, maybe the 'age of decomposition' isn't too bad afterall, maybe Ill reconsider my suicide plan when i'm 50. All these, just because of the Gubbar and Kärringar of Stockholm.... =D love you all, more health.

Highway Hierarchy

Have you ever given acknowledgement to the remarkably unusual traffic culture here in Sweden? The patterns, behaviours and rules of the road... The attitudes of drivers... And most importantly, the relation between vehicles and pedestrians...

If you haven't yet, then stick around for a few more hundred words or so... (please?)

As a pedestrian, and as a foreigner to this country, I can say that I feel more secure crossing that streets of Stockholm than anywhere else in the world. Up until I moved here, I always believed that the highways are strictly vehicle territory and should be feared, I felt like a zebra swimming accross a crocodile-filled river whenever I crossed the street.

Here in Stockholm, due to the unusual but awesome 'balance of power' between drivers and pedestrian, crossing the streets is a piece of cake even for a snail. In many places accross the globe, drivers see pedestrians as green lights. Not in Stockholm, stepping on a pedestrian lane here is just as good as building a wall around you while crossing.

Drivers in Stockholm will literally put their own safety on the line just to avoid running over you, but don't feel too special, it's not because they don't have the heart to hit you senseless but it's because of the consequences they'd have to face if they do.

Not to mention that, when crossing a street without a traffic light, Stockholm's drivers will stop and let you cross first. For those of you who are reading this and think this isn't unusual, I can guarantee that half a globe away, pedestrians are the ones waiting for the vehicles to pass before crossing. Or they just jaywalk.

This is the only place where a cab driver with a pregnant passenger, whose water just broke and is out of gas, will wait for an entire battalion of asian tourists to cross the street before it resumes in motion.

In the end, there is NO one King of the Road here... In my eyes, the pedestrians are the ignorant ones, the vehicles are the tolerant ones and the cyclist are the oppressed ones.

Pedestrians are ignorant because they know they have a bit more power over the other two according to the law. Vehicles know they have the most physical power so they humble themselves, and cyclist are oppressed because of the fact that they were only given a small fraction of the road and still pedestrians interrupt, but when they go to the big roads, vehicles put them in their place.

-Vehicles won't hit pedestrians but will most likely harrass the cyclist who dares cycle on the highway.

-Pedestrians are not afraid of crossing the streets but more afraid of walking along the bicycle lanes.

-Cyclists don't hesitate hitting a pedestrian who dares block a 1.5m wide road but will fear vehicles because they have no choice but to do so.

So a triangle of hierarchy is form. Vehicles are dominant to cyclists but not pedestrians, pedestrians are dominant to vehicles but not cyclists, and cyclists are dominant over pedestrians but not vehicles.

Ta-Da!!