My Laserbeam! Pew Pew Pew

Did you have a laserbeam when you were born?... neither did I, until I came here in Sweden.

My laserbeam has no color, it is invisible yet deadly, it’s here and there at the same time, it can both attract and repel, but it has a limited range (In my case, REALLY limited), the best part is I have TWO of them.

As a follow up to the “Silence is Golden” post, this time around I’ll be ranting specifically about glancedodging.

Glancedodging in Sweden has evolved into an obligatory cultural sport, even bigger than football or innebandy. Whenever you’re in a public place (potentially even private), it is completely impolite to look into the eyes of another person whom you have no intention of talking to, correct me if I’m wrong, but for those of you who do experience this, think about those times you were sitting in the Tunnelbana (Subway) and a person sits right in front of you and you both look at different directions. Preferably: the window or the floor. Sometimes I feel like Cyclops.

Me, being a person whose idea of fun is making people uncomfortable do try and use my laserbeam to its maximum potential. In other words: I STARE AT PEOPLE IN PUBLIC FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER!!!

The reactions are too funny to describe, but here’s how it usually happens chronologically:

-*stares* victim looks away, displaying fluency in glancedodging.
-*stares more* victim looks back but quickly looks away again.
-*keeps staring* victim looks back, looks away, shuffles hands.
-*still staring* victim looks for nearest newspaper. (If newspaper found, game ends)

…but otherwise…

-*stares a bit more* victim pretends to be fiddling with iPod.
-*nerves appear on eye surface* victim takes phone out, and “SMSes”
-*1/4 of eyeballs exposed* victim looks on the ground.

….at this point, our victim is on the verge of either punching me in the face or going away…

-*LASERBEAM* victim melts!!!

Shyness is the most probable explanation for this behavior although it can easily be misperceived as snobbishness. Swedes tend to get shy when not intoxicated (sorry :P)

Won’t it be easier for the victim to stare back and smile instead? Would’ve made it so much easier to write about “Dear blog, I looked at this person, it looked back and smiled, the end”